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How do I deal with post separation loneliness?

Lonely fisherman sitting in the riverbank

At Haris Law Solicitors, we understand that loneliness can impact anyone, regardless of their circumstances. Whether you find yourself alone or in the company of others, the causes of loneliness can vary significantly. Nonetheless, it is crucial to address persistent or long-term loneliness as it can have a profound effect on our mental well-being.

Following a divorce or separation, significant life changes occur, necessitating letting go of certain aspects of your life that no longer serve you. This transformative process can evoke a range of emotions, including feelings of loneliness.

What leads to loneliness after divorce? The factors contributing to post-divorce loneliness can differ from person to person. Nevertheless, there are common elements often associated with divorce or separation:

  • Separation from children: The end of a relationship not only means parting ways with your ex-partner but also being separated from your children as they spend time with their other parent. This transition from living together and having daily interaction to longer periods without your kids can be emotionally challenging.
  • Strained relationships: Break-ups can strain your friendships and connections with family members, especially those who are linked to your ex-partner. The dynamics of these relationships may change, or you may even lose contact with certain individuals.
  • Adjusting to a new home: Separation often involves relocating to a different area and adjusting to a new living environment. The experience of living alone for the first time, particularly if you also work from home, can intensify feelings of isolation.
  • Occasional solitude: Not being able to share events and holidays that were once celebrated with your ex-partner or extended family may no longer be possible, leading to a sense of loneliness.

At Haris Law Solicitors, we recognise the challenges associated with divorce and separation. However, there are strategies you can employ to prepare yourself for feelings of loneliness and achieve a healthy balance:

  • Rediscover your hobbies: Prioritise activities that you love or have always wanted to pursue. Whether it’s training for a triathlon, enrolling in a painting course, or learning a new language, dedicate time to rekindling your interests.
  • Invest in self-care: Take care of your well-being through self-care practices. Engage in activities that promote relaxation and prioritise essential habits such as dental check-ups, maintaining a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and managing your finances.
  • Establish a new routine: Create a new and improved routine that accommodates the changes in your life. Incorporate necessary tasks while integrating new beneficial habits and activities that bring you joy.
  • Reconnect with friends: Nurture your social network for support during this challenging time. Assess your friendships and spend time with those who bring happiness into your life. Reconnect with valued friends you haven’t seen enough of and consider distancing yourself from those who cannot support you.
  • Avoid comparisons: Refrain from comparing yourself to others, as it can exacerbate feelings of loneliness. Remember that the surface-level portrayal of others’ relationships may not reflect the complete reality. Focus on your own happiness instead.
  • Identify triggers: Understand the factors that trigger your feelings of loneliness or isolation. This could include social media, returning to an empty house, or engaging in activities alone. Take steps to gradually improve those triggers, enhancing your overall well-being.
  • Maintain communication: Establish clear communication plans with your children during periods of separation. Find a communication method that works for both you and your children, considering their age and emotional needs. Ensure they feel comfortable reaching out to you and address any concerns they may have.
  • Plan for the future: Loneliness has the tendency to make you feel trapped in the present. However, by taking control and shaping your own future, you have the power to create a fulfilling life that brings you genuine happiness. Whether it’s organizing a leisurely walk with a friend, registering for an event that interests you, or planning an exciting holiday, having something to look forward to can greatly uplift your mood.
  • Seek support: Although it’s common for loneliness to be part of the healing process following a divorce, it’s essential to acknowledge and address your emotions. Persistent feelings of loneliness can have a detrimental impact on your mental well-being. If you find that your sense of loneliness isn’t improving, we strongly advise reaching out to trusted loved ones or seeking professional assistance.

Below are some websites that can provide valuable resources and guidance for managing loneliness:


These websites offer a range of information, tips, and support to help individuals manage and cope with loneliness. Remember, seeking support from trusted loved ones and professionals is also important in addressing loneliness effectively.

For further guidance or assistance, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

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